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Borrows West Welcomes April
(April 1, 2023) All new construction at Borrows West has been ordered to cease due to uncovering of a rare, fully intact Cretaceous period fossil belonging to the Styxosaurus. The Styxosaurus was a Plesiosaur, a type of marine reptile that coexisted with many dinosaurs but is not categorized as a dinosaur.
The UF paleontology team will be zoning off Borrows West from I95 South to Lake Andrew Dr to excavate the fossil. The timeline for the excavation of Borrows West is unknown, but expected to pause all construction for at least nine months.
A construction crew member found the Styxosaurus fossil, Mr. Dennis Roboto. When asked how he knew it was of interest, he stated, “I was walkin on the sidewalk, hotter than a match head, you know, hot town, summer in the city, back of my neck gettin’ dirty-n-gritty. So I stepped off the sidewalk into an area where the bulldozers had just pulled back the top layer of earth and noticed a large skull. At first, I thought it was a cow since it had been cow pasture, but the neck seemed long. I called over more crew, and we determined to call the EPA to ensure we could move forward. They stopped all construction after we realized what we found.”
Universal Pictures has contacted The Viera Company asking permission to film the excavation to use it in future Jurassic Park/World feature films. They will seek local actors for background extras and a few minor speaking roles. Jeff Goldblum and Laura Dern were asked for comments about this recent discovery. Goldblum said, “I cannot believe it” to which Dern replied, “You are fooling yourself if you don’t believe it.”
The Viera Company is excited to have such a significant part of history right here in our backyard! They are planning to rename Borrows West to Jurassic West and would like to say thank you very much, Mr. Roboto for finding this world treasure. If you are interested in becoming a background extra for the movie, please email aprilfools@hahahaha.com.
Source: Viera Facebook